Tips on Parenting Young Job Seekers

My son is just about 5 so I’m not going to tell you how to parent your 20 something year old. I’m here to simply try and help you to see things from their perspective. Maybe having a better understanding of where they are coming from will be beneficial for everyone involved in the career/job search process.

Not all graduates are fortunate enough to have a job ready for them after they finish their education. If your son or daughter falls into that category, you’re not alone. It’s very common that the confusion about their own future presents itself as a lack of motivation to do almost anything related to pursuing a career.

Here are some tips on how to make this process easier for you and your jobseeker…

Discuss expectations

If you haven’t had these conversations already, I’m hoping you’ve tried. The most difficult part when it comes to discussions about the future is the actual communication.

“How do I bring it up without it turning into a disaster?” 

The reality is that being on the same page with your young adult about what comes next is never easy. But these things need to be discussed in order to make progress. 

-Listen to their ideas about what they want to pursue.

-Allow them time to think things through.

-Don’t expect the first interview to turn into a job and don’t expect their first job to be their career.

-Don’t try to push your agenda on them; compromise.

Is it okay for them to live on your couch or relax on a beach all summer? That’s up to you. But being on the same page about what is expected out of them in terms of the next step in their lives is crucial to making progress.

Be supportive

I would suggest trying to be as supportive as they will allow you to be. Be involved but not overly involved. Try to find a happy medium where you can give advice and feedback without annoying them to the point of rebellion.

Ask questions about how things are going so they know that you care. 

Once there is a plan and they start implementing it, they will still need your support. Job hunting takes time, patience, persistence and resilience. Rejection is par for the course and without a support system in place, failing to land a job they were excited about can be a set-back that derails them.

Again, set time and action expectations, including the ways you are willing to support them.

Allow them to find the motivation to take action

This is easier said than done. As I previously mentioned, a lack of clarity in regards to their future is a common reason why young adults struggle to find motivation. If there’s not somewhat of a clear vision of what comes next, then why should they be excited about taking action? If they can generate an idea or vision of what life may look like 6-12 months from now (a job, apartment, financial freedom, etc.) then that can be used as motivation to get off the couch and start applying for jobs.

It’s beneficial to have someone help them sort through their thoughts, ideas, and aspirations in terms of next steps and identify some career paths that they might actually want to pursue. In my experience, once someone is inspired by a plan, they take action on their own.

Job-hunting is a full time job

Job hunting is an arduous task, when done well, takes a lot of time and effort. If your young adult needs help creating a plan of action, implementing that plan and/or staying on track, pursuing it, I can help.

It can take time

I have worked with young people who find a job right away once we identify what it is they want to do; some others take much more time. Realistic expectations around this process can take some of the stress out of the mix.

I can help

If you know a recent graduate who is struggling to put together an action plan for the next step in their life, let them know that there are ways to help. I’m more than happy to have a conversation with someone to see if we’d be a good fit in working together. We can figure out what it is that might get them motivated and interested in moving forward.

And if you are a parent, frustrated by a young adult that seems to lack motivation, in addition to lacking a job, having a conversation wouldn’t hurt. Give me a call - we can work on setting your own expectations as well as working with them to create a plan of their own.